Everyone's done with dating apps

Young people think dating apps make it harder to find committed relationships, and they're sick of it

If you met your partner 'in the wild' or before dating apps existed, you may have developed a fascination with your single friendsā€™ online dating profiles, scrolling through their matches like itā€™s a fantasy football draft.

If you met your partner through a dating app, you probably hold them a bit tighter at night knowing youā€™re free from the algorithmic shackles of an app designed to be deletedā„¢ļø. 

ā€¦ And if youā€™re currently on dating apps, youā€™re likely one ghosting experience or aggressive confrontation away from seeking an arranged marriage. 

Welcome to the world of meet-hot-singles-in-your-area-or-your-future-husband-really-whatever-youā€™re-into-but-either-way-itā€™s-$29.99-a-month dating platforms. šŸ’‹

Most people hate it

Why are dating apps so popular with young people?

Among 18 to 29-year-olds, over 50% of people have used a dating site or app before and 1 in 5 couples has met through one. These figures are significantly higher than any other age bracket.

According to Pew Research Center, the most popular apps for young people are Tinder (79%), Bumble (51%), and Hinge (39%). Grindr ā€“ a gay dating app primarily for casual hook-ups ā€“ also has a notable user base with LGBTQ+ communities (34%), who are disproportionately active on dating apps in general. šŸ’

Source: Pew Research Center

Perhaps this doesnā€™t surprise you. Young people do everything on their phones, so naturally, they would date through them too.

But consider the other, more ā€œorganicā€ ways people meet ā€“ through school, work, at a bar, or via friends. In theory, young people have by far the best opportunities to meet in person, given they are regularly exposed to new people, most of whom are single. So why are they consciously choosing to meet online?

šŸ’” Here are some theories:

Dating apps are changing peopleā€™s relationship with commitment

The most common critique of dating apps is that people are reluctant to commitā€¦ to exclusivity, a second date, or even to respond to a message. The illusion of endless options makes users simultaneously pickier and more passive. 

Our Gen Z audience (18+ only) agreed. Only 7% believe dating apps make finding a relationship easier, while almost half have mixed views. Many cited ā€œtoo many fish in the seaā€ or the ā€œfallacy of choiceā€ as key barriers to settling down. šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

Interestingly, when asked the same question about casual hook-ups, an overwhelming majority (80%) agreed that dating apps make it easier.

Source: Uncultured Insights Survey

Broader research supports this. In her book, Swedish sociologist Marie Bergstrƶm explores how human behavior has changed because of the internet and online dating. The big takeaway? People who meet through dating apps tend to have sex sooner and end relationships more quickly. 

Source: The New Laws of Love: Online Dating and the Privatization of Intimacy (EPIC Survey)

This is a huge shift in dating culture. In the 1950s, the first sexual interaction often happened at the time of marriage. From the 1970s on, people would become intimate long before marriage, but still to solidify exclusivity. Today, for people who meet online, ā€œsex is a way of validating that there is a mutual interest, rather than the unique event signifying that they form a couple.ā€

In short, dating app norms stipulate that jumping into bed together doesnā€™t necessarily mean itā€™s going anywhere serious, though it could. This has two major implications:

First, physical intimacy ā‰  exclusivity.

Second, entering a relationship is no longer marked by actions or events (e.g. first kiss, going on a trip together, meeting their friends), but rather by words. Only when both partners decide to be a couple do they become one. That said, Bergstrƶmā€™s research also found that once couples do form, they tend to marry faster.

Whether this sounds like good news or bad news, one fact remains this Valentineā€™s Day: everyoneā€™s sick of dating apps. šŸ¤®

Source: Uncultured Insights Survey

So what?

šŸ’” For marketers & builders
  • TLDRā€¦ Algorithms are taking the romance out of romance.

  • Ask yourselfā€¦ How can you facilitate more ā€œauthenticā€ interactions, knowing that young people are more anxious and uncomfortable meeting in person?

  • Check this outā€¦ The Timesā€™ article on how Zillennials are looking elsewhere for love.

šŸ«‚ For parents & advocates
  • TLDRā€¦ Courtship is happening online, and often with strangers.

  • Ask yourselfā€¦ How are these platforms influencing your kidsā€™ views on relationships, commitment, and self-worth?

  • Check this outā€¦ The Wall Street Journal breaks down how dating apps make money.

šŸ¤³ For Gen Z
  • TLDRā€¦ Everyoneā€™s tired of dating apps, but no oneā€™s figured out a better way yet.

  • Ask yourselfā€¦ When was the last time dating felt fun?

  • Check this outā€¦ Podcast on the psychology of dating apps.

ā€“ Your Internet Translator

Long-time listener, first-time caller?

  • DM me with your Gen Z questions šŸ¤©

  • Follow our Instagram and join our research network (<28 only sorry) šŸ’Ŗ 

Doomscroll of the day

Reply

or to participate.